


The Importance of Not Being Important

by CursedEstlin



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-01-05 01:16:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1087878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedEstlin/pseuds/CursedEstlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Begins during 4x04 and takes on a life of its own. Lauren's past is revealed while Bo's future is uncertain. Does NOT follow the rest of season 4! *cheers*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Kenzi paced Laurens apartment with a nervous energy. Bo had given her strict instructions to remain there and wait for Dyson; but that wasn't the only instructions Bo's petulant nature had given her. Glancing at her phone, she read the terse text once more.

_When you Dyson are done getting cozy, I want everything you can find on Karen Beattie._

"Shitty McShitterton. Of McShitterberg," Kenzi swore, her pacing stopped next to the counter where Karen Beattie's wanted flyer lay. With great reluctance she picked the sheet of paper up, her eyes quickly scanning and learning more about Lauren/Karen's life than she previously knew. She was looking for anything that might help fill Bo's request.

She spoke several different languages? "Of course she speaks fluent French. But, dude. For serious. Who speaks Swahili?" she wondered aloud.

Known ties to underground arms dealers? "What the fornication, Hotpants?!" She dropped the flyer as if her hands were on fire. She prided herself on not being easily surprised and while she never really trusted Lauren as she felt she was competition for Bo's attention, she never imagined the brilliant doctor that wore her guarded heart on her sleeve for a certain succubus could have so much to hide.

It felt wrong to do what Bo was asking of her. It felt like she was betraying Lauren, but her loyalties - the loyalties that were somehow in question with Bo - forced her hand. She made the call and requested the information from one of her usual contacts and knew it wouldn't be long before everything Canadian Criminal Intelligence had on Karen/Lauren would soon be in her hands.

Hours later as Bo pummeled the heavybag in front of her, she tried to block out Kenzi's not so stealthy approach and the obvious anger and hurt directed at her. Finally, her melee of punches slowed and she acknowledged Kenzi's presence. "I'm not mad about Dyson, if that's why you're skulking around," she offered, not even bothering to look at her.

Kenzi blew out a disgusted breath before thrusting the thick file on Karen Beattie out towards Bo's cold shoulder. "Here's the dirt you requested on your ex. You might remember her? The one that went behind the ashholes back and taught you how not to kill people and believed in you when you thought you were a monster? And oh yeah, that's right. She also trusted you with her heart, Succuslut."

Bo spun around, eagerly taking the file from Kenzi and flipping open the cover. "You're actually going to do it. You're actually going to read it. I can't believe you," Kenzi remarked, folding her arms across her chest.

"What is with the stick up your ass? You never liked Lauren. You never trusted her and now it looks like you had good reason all along to trust your instincts," Bo huffed, squaring her shoulders for battle with the petite powerhouse.

"Wow. Girl is mad crazy about you. She trusted YOU, Bo! She never judged you for your past mistakes. She never treated you like you were a monster and she was always there for you. Your past never mattered to her," Kenzi spelled out in clear terms, her bright blue eyes burning with an intensity that made Bo take a step back. "You have a hell of a way for repaying her faith in you, Bobo. You took everything she gave you freely and pissed it away. You really wonder why she bailed?"

Any anger that geared Bo up for battle was swiftly slashed to ribbons by Kenzi's words. Everything she said was true. Every single word. "Why didn't she just tell me?" Bo asked with a voice much more fragile than Kenzi would have ever thought she'd hear from the fearsome Fae.

Feeling as if she'd finally gotten through to Bo, the tension left Kenzi's shoulders as she slowly approached her and gently took the file from her, dropping it to the ground before taking Bo's hands in hers. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I just know that all of us, myself included, did a really shitty thing by constantly doubting her and expecting her to prove herself when she always had our backs."

"She's what's missing, Kenz," Bo admitted tearfully. "How could I screw this up so badly?"

Kenzi shrugged and gave her friend a smile. "Nobody's perfect."

Bo returned the smile with a grateful one. "Except for you," she teased, lightly bumping her hip against Kenzi's.

"When you're right, you're right," Kenzi smirked, feeling herself drawn into Bo's arms and happily returning the embrace. "We have to find her and bring her home," she murmured feeling Bo nod her head in agreement. "She's part of our family," Bo confirmed, squeezing Kenzi tightly against her to let her best friend know that the sentiment of family, something so cold and alien for each of them before, had been found and was something to be cherished.

When they finally released each other, Kenzi's eyes fell upon the file. She scooped it up, halfheartedly offering it once more to Bo who watched her curiously. "Do you want.." her question trailed off.

Bo shook her head, her voice full of resolve. "It's not important."

"Consider it burned," Kenzi smiled proudly, nearly bouncing away to destroy the file.

Bo found herself with her fingertips pressed against her neck where Lauren's necklace should be. It was an odd thing to think that she felt naked without it when Lauren had never even given it to her, but she knew with certainty that it was hers and that it belonged there. She smiled faintly, musing that now all she needed to do is find Lauren and earn the right to wear it.


	2. Blow Me! ...One Last Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The door to the cell Lauren shared with Crystal swung open, her ultimatum still hanging in the air. What she found was the last thing she was expecting.

"You're not.. Hale." Lauren stumbled over her words, her eyes and mind struggling to sync up and agree that they were seeing and comprehending the same thing.

"Not the last time I checked, no," Bo agreed, her smile somewhere between salacious and penitent.

When Lauren made no move, not even to close her slack-jawed mouth, Bo was reluctantly forced to stop taking in the long legged vision before her. She noticed both the other woman in the cell handcuffed to ancient pipes and and the chains pooled at the feet of Lauren. Her own jaw clenched briefly. What had gone on here? She stepped into the prison and brushed her hand against Laurens, the fleeting contact making them both expel hurried breaths of want and need that was placed on the back burner as Bo bypassed her for Crystal. "Are you hurt?" she questioned, glancing at the cuffs and deciding how best to free her. Crystal seemed mesmerized by the appearance of Bo and could do little more than shake her head. "Let's get you out of here," Bo offered, looking over at Lauren who had joined her and was working to pick the lock on the handcuffs. Not daring to touch her again, Bo waited a couple of precious seconds before Lauren's eyes were drawn to hers. "Both of you."

Less than a minute later Crystal was flanked by either beauty as they helped mobilize her. Waiting down the hallway a short distance from the newly vacated cell was a sword wielding Kenzi, acting as lookout. "Hotpants!" she squealed, leaping at the woman and engulfing her in a very un-Kenzi like show of affection. Lauren was clearly caught off guard, but awkwardly wrapped her arm around the smaller framed woman, letting her chin rest momentarily on top of Kenzi's shoulder. As abruptly as the embrace began, it ended. Kenzi quickly pulled back, sticking a very stern finger in Lauren's face. "Don't you ever, EVER pull a shitty stunt like that again," she commanded before turning on a pair of highly heeled boots and teetering back to her job as the lookout. Lauren momentarily pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, not daring anything more than a glance at Bo and getting caught just doing that. 

Bo smiles and swallows nervously, unsure why she felt so out of sorts in this moment. She should be happy. Ecstatic even. And she was.. She owed Vex endless favors for the unexpected text he'd sent with this location, but there was also the glaring distance between herself and Lauren that seemed more insurmountable than ever. 

Lauren gets caught again glancing at Bo, rolling her eyes at her own lack of.. good sense? "How did you find us?"

Bo takes a breath in preparation to answer but is silenced when Kenzi shushes them, dramatically pressing her back against the wall while animatedly indicating they should all do the same. This action of implied danger seems to be the last straw for Crystal. Her breath begins coming out in high pitched pants, her hands clutching her abdomen in distress. Instantly Lauren kneels before her, her hands competently assessing the dire situation before her. "She's going into anaphylactic shock," she announces with worry etched into her features.

There's an irrational flash of jealousy in the care and tenderness Bo witnesses before she pushes it aside, leaning down to scoop Crystal up into her arms. Without a second thought, she breezes brazenly past Lauren and Kenzi and leads the way to the Camaro awaiting them outside, thankful there were no baddies to dispatch along the way. Grateful to see the yellow beast again, Lauren races ahead of them throwing the door open and reaching under the front seat to withdraw a medical bag neither Bo nor Kenzi even knew was stored there. Unzipping the bag she reaches for a pen-like object briefly holding it up to examine the contents. Happy with what she sees she motions for Bo to lay a barely conscious and completely disoriented Crystal on the hood of the car. Wasting no time, Lauren pushed Bo out of the way and leaned over the pretty waitress and held her hand and her gaze while she gently and succinctly explained what was happening and what she was going to do to try to stop it. "Just don't leave, okay?" Crystal plead, holding tightly to Lauren's hand. 

The jealousy Bo experienced this time was much more intense than the flash she'd experienced minutes before. It ratcheted up considerably when Lauren's compassionate smile was just as genuine as her assurance that she wasn't going anywhere. She blinked away the blue eyed devil inside, hoping the display had gone unnoticed. Seconds later, Lauren pressed the pen device in her hand against the outside of Crystals thigh, injecting a dose of epinephrine to counteract the deadly reaction she was having from the archaic handcuffs she'd been exposed to for the last several hours. Kenzi and Bo watched Lauren in a shared silence, briefly turning to each other with questions they never verbalized while it was clear there were many unanswered questions.

"We need to get her somewhere safe so I can start an IV," Lauren stated calmly over her shoulder when it was clear the epinephrine was having the desired effect. When there was no acknowledgement from Bo nor Kenzi, Lauren elaborated further. "I'm assuming the compound and therefore my apartment are off limits to me right now. I have a supply of medical equipment at the clubhouse, or we can find a clinic to take her to but either way we need to move now," she stressed the last few words with undisguised urgency, pulling Crystal into a sitting position before helping her off the hood of the car. 

Kenzi was the first to spring into action, rushing to help maneuver Crystal into the backseat. "Doc! I'm totally bummed that you didn't go all Pulp Fiction on her and stab Uma in the chest with the injection thingy."

Lauren gave a disapproving shake of the head, helping Crystal to settle partially against her chest. "That would have been completely counter productive I'm afraid." Kenzi shrugged, feigning boredom as she climbed into the front seat once she'd confirmed that the doctor and her .. friend? were settled in the back seat. Bo cranked over the engine, trying not to lock eyes with Lauren in the rearview mirror.

"What's your brothers name?" Crystal asked weakly if not randomly from the back seat. Bo couldn't help but notice how the question unnerved Lauren or how quickly her eyes darted to the mirror to see that her ex-lover was watching with undisguised curiosity. 

"Alex," she answered quietly, her eyes now avoiding Bo's. "Try not to move," she advised Crystal. The woman in her arms nodded briefly, turning her head so her forehead rested rather intimately against the side of Lauren's throat.

Bo pulled the gearshift lever into gear and sped away, deciding on the clubhouse for their next destination and tried to ignore the knot of betrayal balled tightly in her chest. 

Lauren looked out the window as familiar scenery sped past, trying not to feel the emotions radiating off the succubus and failing miserably. Bo was hurt. Angry. Confused and of all the irritating things, she was jealous. Why should she let that bother her? Bo had lied to her, kept her in the dark about Dyson and Tamsin. Cheated on her when she already had the freedom to feed. She'd taken her for granted and expected her to swoon whenever Bo looked her direction. It wasn't as if Lauren's love wasn't pushed beyond every reasonable limit. It was. And she gave everything she could until there was nothing left but a shadow of the woman she used to be. And somehow, even now, she still ached to comfort and ease Bo's turmoil. 

There was still the unanswered question of how Bo and Kenzi found them. She refused to give it voice again. Refused to give the succubus and her sidekick the slightest opening to converse with her. She'd make sure Crystal was on the mend, find some spare cash for her and send her on her way before disappearing again. Alone.

As if plucking her thoughts of escape right out of her head Bo turned her head slightly, not taking her eyes off the road ahead of them. "Just so we're clear," she began, her voice full and resolute, "I'm not letting you out of my sight." The flash of movement beside her drew her attention to Kenzi, whose head had whipped around so she could give Bo her most menacing 'are you crazy' look. Quickly realizing how bossy and Ashhole-y her 'order' must surely have been interpreted, she quickly amended it. "Until it's safe." Kenzi's head dropped to the side, her look murderously unimpressed. "Nice," she mouthed sarcastically.

Lauren observed the short exchange, feeling a wave of nostalgia almost turn the corners of her mouth up into a smile but she said nothing, not even acknowledging the directive she'd been given. A few minutes later the Camaro rolled to a stop in front of the clubhouse, both women up front bailing out to help the doctor extract Crystal from the vehicle. Crystal seemed much more stable on her feet and Lauren allowed Kenzi to slowly lead her inside, taking advantage of the brief separation to lean back into the car to retrieve the medical kit from the floor. She never heard Bo closing the distance between them and her nearly nose-to-nose close proximity when she stood up made her gasp in surprise. Her lips had barely formed the letter 'B' to complain when Bo's lips covered hers, effectively silencing her. 

The kiss was frantic and needy and so damn good Lauren couldn't help the whimper of approval from escaping as she framed Bo's face and was pulled flush against Bo's body. Lips, tongues, teeth, breasts, hips.. everything fought for it's own desire to be touched and satisfied first but it was the persistent and rhythmic shifting up their hips together that brought all of Laurens thoughts screaming back into focus. It felt so good to be held and touched and kissed by her ex-lover. Too good, in fact. So good she never wanted to share Bo, her body, her kisses or her love with anyone else. But that wasn't an option.

"Stop." Lauren pushed her away with enough force to end the heated embrace. Bo's arms were still tensed to hold her and hung empty in the air for a few scant moments as her chest heaved with deep breaths. Her kiss swollen lips tried to form actual words but the best she could muster was a "Wha-?" before Lauren calmly collected her dropped medical bag and headed inside, her aura giving away exactly how much she wanted to continue, but her actions completely ignoring and overriding her desires. 

Back in possession of her own faculties Bo stared after Lauren, her foot coming up behind her to kick the car door shut, her footsteps feeling as heavy as her heart as she made her way inside. She admitted to herself that she was somehow holding out hope that Lauren was going to just fall back into her arms and declare their break over. It was more than clear now that she was sadly mistaken. She suddenly cocked her head to the side, catching Lauren surreptitiously glance her direction to see if she was going to follow her. It was barely anything. Not even a life saver cast in her direction. But it was enough to make her dig her heels in and solidify her resolve to earn Lauren's love once more. And this time, she wasn't going to screw it up. Her step faltered and she swallowed thickly. 'Hopefully', she amended.


	3. Can't We All Just Get Along?

Sneaking in to ones own bedroom wasn't something Bo was accustomed to. The last time she'd done it she was sixteen years old. It was an unusual feeling to say the least. But she wasn't sneaking she reasoned as her hand closed on the ornate door handle and slowly twisted it. She wasn't checking up on Lauren and Crystal - she was checking IN with them to see if they needed anything. Yeah. That was what she was going to go with if Lauren questioned her. You know. If Lauren was actually speaking to her.

She needn't have worried. When she entered the softly lit room (for function, not for romance), she saw that Crystal was sleeping soundly in her bed and Lauren had drawn an armchair close enough to stretch out and rest her endlessly long legs on and was herself asleep, though not nearly in the same comfort zone that sleeping on the bed would have provided. This thought both concerned and reassured Bo. Yes, she should be resting comfortably in the bed. HER bed. But not with any other woman but the succubus herself. 

Bo paused in front of the IV bag hanging near the bed. Hours earlier, Lauren had unpacked all sorts of medical supplies from a storage box stashed in the basement, giving no explanation as to why it was there. Not that she needed to. The good doctor was always prepared for any situation. "Always looking out for us," Bo happily observed, hoping to break the ice. The only response she received was a brief tight lipped smile from Lauren. Listlessly, Bo reached out and grasped the IV bag, her hand gently squeezing it. She had no idea what she was looking at, no idea why she was even pretending to. Turning her attention to Lauren in the chair she crossed her arms over her chest and watched her sleep. With the interaction she'd observed between Crystal and Lauren she'd picked up on enough to know that the relationship wasn't strictly platonic, though it was also obvious that they didn't know each other very well either. She snorted at her own observation. A succubus judging Lauren for not knowing much about the person she was having sex with? Judging Lauren for letting anyone other than her caress and kiss her or bring her pleasure? 

The more she allowed herself to think about it, the angrier and more irrational she felt herself become. Unable to stay in the room any longer without throttling the woman in her bed or re-staking a physical claim on Lauren she moved to retreat from the room, but not before carefully and tenderly tucking a blanket around Lauren. She allowed herself to lean in close, feeding off the warmth of Lauren's body, inhaling the familiar scent that was one hundred percent uniquely Lauren. It soothed and excited her just like every other time she'd basked in it. Knowing she was playing with fire, she pressed a soft kiss to Lauren's forehead before quickly and quietly withdrawing, missing Lauren's eyes open without any trace of sleep in them as soon as she heard the door click shut. 

Awake the whole time, Lauren swallowed thickly. The physical ache in her chest that she'd lived with since the decision was made to end things with Bo was too much to bear in silence this time and she involuntarily let out a choked sob that sounded remarkably like her ex-lovers name. 

"Feel better now?" Kenzi questioned from her spot on the couch, examining a piece of popcorn before tossing it into her gaping mouth. When she received no answer from the succubus at the bottom of the stairs she looked over her shoulder and took in Bo's reflective expression and the way her shoulders slightly sloped in defeat. "Oh my god! Were they banging in your bed? Nobody bangs in my besties bed! Except you, obviously. And often!"

Her accusation spurred a reaction from the unaligned warrior. "What? No! Kenzi, there was no banging going on. Just sleeping."

"Then what's with the long face?" Kenzi questioned as her best friend sat heavily beside her. 

"She won't even talk to me," Bo lamented.

"Well duh. Why should she?" her best friend questioned as if it were obvious.

"Well for one, I saved her and her.. " Bo gestured emphatically, searching for the right word to describe Crystal that didn't sound overly crude.

"Bang buddy? Friend with benefits? Ho-bag hookup? Sexy time skank?" Kenzi supplied.

"You're not helping," Bo pouted.

"And you didn't rescue her," Kenzi pointed out. "You more like picked her up thanks to a text from Vex."

"There was an element of danger there!"

"I suppose they could have died from boredom," Kenzi rolled her eyes and hopped off the couch at the sound of knocking on the door. "What's up, Pup," she greeted Dyson and closed the door after he strolled inside and took a seat next to Bo, cozying up to her before dropping a kiss on her smiling lips. 

Kenzi resumed her spot on the other side of Bo, discreetly rolling her eyes at the ridiculous triangle that Bo was still firmly entrenched in. 

"Did you find anything?" Bo questioned, resting her hand on Dyson's thigh. Dyson smiled at the intimate gesture, picking her hand up and bringing it briefly to his lips before letting it rest upon his leg once more. Dyson and Hale had conducted a thorough search of the location Lauren and Crystal were kept at.

"Very little. There was evidence of the cell being monitored, but we don't know who was doing the watching. We collected some samples from the makeshift lab and we're trying to see if we can get a match on who the tissue samples belong to. It's not much, but it might lead us back to who was holding them captive. Where is Lauren? Is she doing okay?" Dyson was genuinely concerned. The doctor had risked her own life to save his and countless other Fae. Now that it seemed like she was no longer competition, he could afford a little good will.

Bo nodded. "She and her friend are resting upstairs."

"So what bed are we supposed to use?" Dyson questioned, a wolfish grin on his lips that would have ordinarily turned Bo into a little pile of lust. Tonight however, it just made her feel uneasy. 

Lauren stood quietly beside the partially opened bedroom door, listening for any signs to indicate the knock she heard meant someone was there for her. She would gladly give herself up if it kept Bo and Kenzi safe. She next heard the unmistakable baritone of Dyson and knew they weren't in any danger. "Amber?" Crystal called out quietly from behind her. 

Turning, Lauren quickly made her way to the side of the bed. "Crystal," she greeted calmly. "Is something wrong? Are you having any trouble breathing?" She pressed her fingers on the pulse point on Crystals wrist, counting the beats as she held her watch up to see the second hand.

"No. No, I'm fine," Crystal reassured her, moving to sit up in the bed once Lauren released her arm. "Just hungry," she admitted sheepishly. 

"I'm not surprised. Antihistamines sometimes increase hunger. Although in your case, it could simply be that we just haven't eaten anything in the last 36 hours, or so," Lauren smiled, feeling her own pangs of hunger now that food had been mentioned. "What would you like?"

"Pizza. Beer," Crystal answered quickly, drawing a quick laugh from Lauren. 

"I think we can handle that." Lauren smiled easily, knowing that both items Crystal requested were staples in this particular household. "We can probably find something for you to change into as well," she offered as she noted that the blouse Crystal was wearing was missing most of its buttons and her skirt was a wrinkled mess. She stood, going to Bo's dresser and pulling open the drawer that she knew held Bo's most practical clothing consisting of yoga pants, t-shirts and the like. It was vastly different than the drawers on either side of it that held some of the most breathtakingly sexy lingerie she'd ever laid eyes on. She didn't pull out any of Bo's clothing however, and after a few seconds of searching through the drawer she withdrew a pair of sleep shorts and a lovingly abused t-shirt with the periodic table on it. If she was being honest with herself, she was surprised the succubus hadn't removed all traces of her from her bedroom. She didn't have her own drawer, her stuff had just always been mixed in with Bo's. She closed the drawer and ended any further reflection about what it meant or didn't and presented the clothing to Crystal. 

Crystal accepted the clothing, unfolding the t shirt and examining the graphic on it. With a sly smile she spoke. "I once asked Potassium how their date with Oxygen went."

"Let me guess, they said it was OK?" Lauren gave a surprised but pleased laugh. Crystal was evidently not the airhead she came off as and it prompted the scientist in her to break out her own elemental funny. "A Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says "I'm sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The Higgs boson replies "But without me you couldn't have mass!""

"Boooo!" Crystal groaned as they shared a laugh. "Are you sure your friend won't mind me wearing these?"

"Bo." Lauren supplied the name, realizing that in all the confusion, Crystal likely had no idea where she was and who she was with. 

"That's Bo?" Crystal's eyes widened a bit. 

Lauren nodded. "Those are my clothes, not hers." As gently as possible, she removed the IV from Crystal's arm, allowing her the freedom to move around without being hindered. Finished with her task she crossed to the door, taking a second to prepare herself for a trip downstairs. Dyson noticed her almost immediately, quickly standing and vacating his spot next to Bo but not quickly enough. Lauren had still seen them cuddled up together on the couch. It wasn't her business she reminded herself, taking a deep breath through her nose and plastering a surprisingly sincere smile on her face as Dyson moved to meet her at the bottom of the stairs. "I knew you'd be sniffing around sooner or later," she teased as the shifter drew her into his arms. 

"Good to see you, Doc." Bo watched the embrace with mixed emotions. Lauren was apparently happy to see everyone except her. But at least the doc and Dyson were getting along. That was great. Right? Right. Best fucking day ever. She felt herself glowering at the two. Kenzi had taken and received a hug from the good doctor. Dyson was still holding her. But if she hadn't stolen a kiss - a really hot, frantic and fantastic kiss she wanted to repeat again and again and right now - by the car earlier, she's fairly certain Lauren would have been perfectly content to never touch her again. Well maybe not never. She gave a self satisfied smirk as she noticed Lauren's aura brighten considerably when she looked Bo's direction. Unfortunately, the smirk did not go without notice and Lauren returned it with a scowl. 

"Is there any pizza?" Lauren asked, finally extricating herself from Dyson's embrace.

"Please. Does a bear poop in the woods?" Kenzi scoffed. 

Bo jumped up from her spot on the couch, all too eager to be of assistance. "There's some in the fridge and in the oven." She nearly collided with Lauren as she tried to beat her to the kitchen so that she could make both options available. 

Noting how hard Bo was trying, Lauren gave her a polite thanks but avoided touching the pizzas while Bo was still holding them. Instead she bypassed the succubus and retrieved a couple of beers from the refrigerator. Her intention was to take the food back up to the room, but those hopes were dashed when she heard Dyson greet Crystal. From her vantage point in the kitchen, Bo remained out of view from her guest, but could see that the other woman was wearing Lauren's favorite sleepwear. The pizza boxes in her hands were forgotten and dropped on the stove and the blue eyed devil did more than flash this time. She did not appreciate the way the curvier woman filled out both the t-shirt and the short shorts impressively. All she knew was that those clothes belonged on Lauren's body, only to be removed by her. 

"You have no right," Lauren moved to block the succubus' view, standing right in front of her and speaking in hushed tones. When Bo's eyes still refused to return to their normal shade, Lauren grasped Bo's hand, forcing her attention to focus on her. "If this is going to be a problem, we can find somewhere else to go." 

Whether it was Lauren's touch or the suggestion of her leaving, Bo's eyes quickly returned to their normal shade. "No," she barked out, horrified by the thought of Lauren walking away again. "You're right. That was totally out of line," she apologized, not believing any of the words she had to say to convince Lauren to stay. 

"Are you sure?" Lauren pressed. "Because if this is something you'd rather not deal with, I totally understand."

"I'd rather not have to deal with you being dead, so yeah. This is just fine," Bo huffed. "It's peachy." 

"I'm glad I can count on you to act like an adult," Lauren countered none too gently. Bo's temper flared and Lauren didn't shrink back, instead taking a step closer. 

"Whoa, you two. Don't make me put you in timeout," Kenzi intervened, breaking up the standoff that was about to turn ugly. "Blondie! What's your poison?" the little Russian called over her shoulder before listing the contents of the liquor cabinet. 

Aware that she had just walked up on some kind of confrontation, Crystal tread carefully into the kitchen. In a show of brevity she approached Bo and stuck her hand out. "I'm Crystal. Thank you so much for getting us out of that place and for taking us in."

Bo looked at the proffered hand for a long second before taking it. "I'm Bo. And you're welcome. Any friend of Lauren's is a friend of mine," she said with so much civility she thought she might just gag. 

"Wow. That's some personal fucking growth right there," Kenzi commented dryly, handing Crystal a beer. The next few days were going to be interesting, to say the very least.


	4. Cannonball

"What can you tell us about the tests you ran?" Dyson questioned, wadding up his napkin and dropping it on his empty plate.

"The tissue sample showed clear signs of spongiform encephalopathy. Basically a self induced degenerative brain injury," Lauren translated her diagnosis in easier to understand terms for the shifter. "In this case, the results indicated that the elder has been ingesting not only its own species, but likely bloodline and is infected ..."

Lauren went on and on about something that caused more than mild discomfort in subject matter, but Bo heard none of that. Instead she had fallen under the doctors spell, hanging on to the confident tone with which she rattled off scientific fact and medical jargon. She might as well have been strumming a guitar or reciting a love poem naked for all it mattered to Bo. The effect was the same. She found herself relaxed and soothed and, yes, horny. She couldn't help it. In her Lauren babble induced daydream, she was stretched out on the bed alongside her, head resting on one hand while the other rested just above Lauren's knee. Her memory supplied all the necessary details from the warmth and the softness of her skin to the way her muscles jumped under her touch whenever she swept her hand higher and ran it along the inside of her thigh. Lauren would have stopped speaking by now, lost in sensation and appreciating the distraction the succubus was providing as her lips joined in the journey.

"Bo?" She felt a warm hand wrap around her knee and squeeze softly, drawing a low hum of desire that came straight out of her daydream. "Bo? What do you think?" Dyson asked again, pulling her back into reality. A reality that included Lauren sitting across the table from her, barely disguised anger ticking along her clenched jaw.

Lauren immediately looked away, the doctor obviously knowing there was some intimate touching going on under the table by the look on Bo's face. She'd seen that glint in Bo's eyes and experienced the slowed breathing and seductive whispering in her ear many times before. Did they have to continually rub it in her face that they were together? Didn't she garner even a tiny bit of respect? She had feelings. She wasn't a robot, for chrissake.

Bo had the good grace to blush at being caught. "Sorry. Zoned out there," she admitted with much chagrin, trying to catch Lauren's eye so she could issue another, more sincere albeit silent apology.

"We weren't discussing anything important anyway. I can see how the big words would have bored you," Lauren muttered barely loud enough for anyone else to hear as she pushed away from the table, collecting empty plates and bottles to take back into the kitchen.

Dyson took advantage of the break in their discussion to chat up Bo, who had heard Lauren's biting comment and was debating how best to respond. "It's getting late. Maybe we should wrap this up?" He let his eyes make a slow journey over the woman beside him. "We can head back to my place. Maybe get wrapped up in each other."

The succubus felt herself cringing inwardly at the suggestion but did her best not to let it show. "Not tonight, lover. I think it's best I stick around here and I bet you can't wait to get away from a house full of crazy women," she persuaded with the hopes of the detective taking the not-so-subtle hint that it was time to leave.

Dyson took the hint, standing up from the table and grabbing his jacket from where it was hanging on the back of the chair. "Guess that's my cue to leave," he smiled good naturedly. "Lauren? It's good to have you back where you belong."

Bo watched Lauren's face fall. Lauren obviously disagreed that this was where she belonged. But if not here, where did she think she belonged? She nonetheless smiled her thanks. "Goodnight, Dyson." She turned her back to them, ostensibly to complete her cleanup of the kitchen, but really out of self preservation so she didn't have to witness the lovers saying goodbye. It was bad enough that she still had to hear it. If the doctor were honest with herself, (wasn't she always painfully honest with herself?) she was sorry to see Dyson take his leave. Sure, she'd wanted to claw his eyes out most of the night, but it wasn't his fault that Bo was .. Bo. Without his distraction, she might have to have an actual conversation with the woman who single-handedly showed her freedom and held her heart captive. She'd try to avoid that for as long as possible but as usual, the sexy bull in a china shop had her own ideas.

Approaching her quietly from behind Bo softly called her name before resting her hand on her shoulder. She stiffened at the touch, pulling out of Bo's reach.

Lauren quickly turned around, backing herself as far away from Bo as was possible in the cramped kitchen. "It's late, Bo. Kenzi and Crystal are already asleep. It's probably best that we all get some rest," she quickly rattled off.

"Yeah, of course," Bo agreed amicably. "I just wanted to say I was sorry for drifting earlier. You know how I get when the geek speak starts," she confessed with a shy smile.

Awesome. The words to express her dismay that she'd been able to turn Bo on for Dyson's gain stayed firmly lodged in her throat. "Goodnight," Lauren tried to escape the confines of the kitchen, only to be blocked. "Bo," she started in a terse tone.

"I know you're upset and that I'm not your favorite person right now, but, god Lauren. I was so scared not knowing where you were," Bo soothed, daring a step closer. "I just - " the succubus swallowed thickly seeing for the first time since she'd been reunited with Lauren that she was actually looking at her with something akin to affection. It took her breath away. She'd never felt so timid in her life. "Can I hug you?"

Lauren briefly drew her bottom lip into her mouth, a move that Bo knew she only did when she was indecisive about something. Taking a leap of faith that she was even considering it, Bo quickly stepped forward to carefully wrap her arms around Lauren, trying hard to keep it friendly and not the bone crushing, body melding that she wanted to engage in.

With great restraint Lauren found herself returning the embrace, her arms staying in the friendzone shoulder area, forcing emotional boundaries up that would keep her from relishing Bo's touch. Just a friendly squeeze. That's all. She made a move to pull away when it went on for longer than was strictly necessary and found herself being pulled back into an embrace that was much less friendly and a whole lot more intimate than she was prepared to deal with. Bo's body seemed to curl around her frame, Bo's arms holding her tightly against her and her head dropped onto Laurens shoulder, her face pressing against her neck.

For a few scant seconds, Lauren remained motionless. She couldn't fight it but she couldn't return it either. Not until she felt the dampness transfer from Bo's eyes to her neck. All bets were off and she found her arms tightening and her body welcoming Bo against her, her own head falling into the intimate curve of Bo's neck. All the love, longing, pain, need and desire was poured out and concentrated into endless minutes spent clinging to each other in the middle of the kitchen.

Bo couldn't believe how much she'd missed the woman in her arms. For the first time in months she felt like the weight of regret in her chest was lifted and she could breathe again. Because if they could do this, love each other in spite of the shitstorm raging outside and within, they could survive anything.. Including the sudden blackout and canisters of knockout gas lobbed through the windows of the club house.

Noxious clouds quickly filled the ground level space and they protectively held one another close, trying to find a way to escape its wrath but it was impossible. A taste at the back of Lauren's throat forced an expletive. She knew this gas. Knew they had no hope against its thankfully temporary effects. Her brain rattled off concentration levels and parts per million units and translated her approximation into how long they would remain incapacitated. It wasn't the first time she'd cursed herself for creating a highly effective weapon that was used against her.

"Bo," she gasped. Bo held her tightly against her, trying to act as a shield against their unseen foe. Lauren clutched her shoulders, "There's nothing we can do," Lauren managed to utter before she fell to the floor unconscious, Bo's body crumpling right beside her.


	5. Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Lauren's elbow skid across the smooth surface of the workstation and she was jolted awake, her heart pounding in her chest while the powerful bright lights of the lab made her eyes burn in her skull. " Hangover," she cursed, pressing her fingertips against her forehead to try to alleviate the pain radiating from within her head. Spotting a drink bottle in front of her she enthusiastically reached for it and drained its hydrating contents. She remembered having some ibuprofen in her desk drawer and stood up to retrieve it, unprepared for her legs to be nearly useless when she stood. She grabbed the edge of the workstation to steady herself, an overwhelming feeling that something was very wrong flooding through her.

"Must have been one hell of a night, Dr. Lewis," one of her lab assistants observed with a smirk. The young fae placed a folder on the workstation beside her. "Here's the results you had us rush," he reported, watching as Lauren's curiosity outweighed her hangover symptoms and she scooped up the folder, noting that the coding on the outside of the folder meant that the results were meant for her and the Ash alone and flipped it open. "If there's nothing else, Dr?" the assistant waited to be dismissed.

Lauren raised her head from the pages in her hands, pushing aside the confusion she felt. "No. That will be all. Thank you." She waited until she was alone again before turning her attention back to the folder. The results were from a spinal tap. She ran her finger down a column of numbers, stopping a couple of times when the numbers were well beyond a normal range. "Spongiform encephalitis," she diagnosed with a familiarity that she could not place as she read the rest of the results. Her eyes were drawn to another set of numbers. "No. Not spongiform encephalitis," she amended, all color draining from her face. The diagnosis now was much more disturbing but more than that, she knew who the samples were from. "That's not possible," she said aloud in the sterile lab, hoping that saying it would change the results. It didn't.

Two men she recognized as the Ash's personal body guards appeared in the doorway, an ominous sign to be sure. "Dr. Lewis. Come with us." There was no question or choice of obeying. She was simply escorted away, file in hand.

The guards stopped outside the Ash's office, allowing for privacy. With much more confidence than she really felt, Lauren stood up straight, head held high and entered after a brief knock. "I assume you wanted to see me about the results?" she quizzed, standing in front of the massive desk that was much more organized than the last time she'd seen it. Her eyes fell to a vial and waiting syringe within reach of her.

"We'll talk about the results in a moment," the Ash acknowledged. "Right now I think you probably need a dose of that to counteract the effects from the gas you were exposed to last night." He pursed his lips at the slight look of surprise on Lauren's face, though she made no move to retrieve the items. "Headache? No short term memory? Tastes like dish soap and lavender made out at the back of your throat? You should recognize your own work," he prodded, smiling when she anxiously swapped the folder for the vial and syringe.

The Ash gave her a few minutes to collect herself as the veil over her memories was slowly lifted. What he was left with was an enraged doctor who remembered among other things, that she no longer considered herself owned by any Ash. When she demanded answers, he calmly told her to give herself a few more minutes until all of her memories returned.

XX

A low and grumpy moan broke the silence in an otherwise quiet room. A few seconds later another groan was emitted, this one including a string of obscenities and the rustling of sheets. A hangover was not something Bo usually had to worry about, but she wouldn't know it from the pounding in her head. She rolled over in her bed, instantly coming into contact with another body. She cautiously opened one eye and observed a head of blonde hair spilled out on the pillow alongside her. The dark roots immediately gave away that it wasn't the blonde she was hoping for and she was almost pleased when the woman beside her groaned with the same amount of discomfort as the succubus. Bo searched her memory banks, unsure how just doing that could make her head throb even more for a name to address the woman beside her when she confirmed with a quick peek under the sheets that they were both naked. Nothing.

It wasn't the first time something like this happened and in Bo's experience the best thing to do was to sneak out of bed, have a long shower and by the time she emerged the unnamed occupant had usually departed thus avoiding any unpleasant awkwardness. And she would have gotten away with it this time too if it hadn't been for that meddling Kenzi. She stumbled into Bo's room and collapsed onto her side of the bed, barely giving her enough time to move out of the way. "What did we do last night?" Kenzi groaned, holding her head in her hands before noticing the third occupant in the bed. "Who's that?"

"Crystal," the bottle blonde raised her head to answer for herself before letting it drop back down to the pillow and wincing in response.

Any further discussion was curtailed by the sound of knocking on Bo's bedroom door, followed by Lauren calling out her name. Without waiting for any response Lauren pushed the door open, finding two women lying in bed with her former lover. If she noticed that both Crystal and Bo were naked, there was no indication of it. "Oh, good. You're all here," she proclaimed as she opened her jacket and withdrew three injection pens.

"Owwww! You said she gave good needle!" Kenzi complained after the doctor delivered a quick jab to her upper arm before repeating the action on Bo and Crystal in succession.

"Hangover breakfast in twenty," Lauren announced as she vacated the bedroom.

"Extra greasy," Kenzi shouted her request after her, promptly clutching her head as she did so. "God. Why would you ever let that perfect, perfect woman go?" she grumbled, curling into a fetal position to wait until it was breakfast time.

"So are you going to share with us what the fae happened last night?" Kenzi questioned, shoveling another fork full of hash browns into her mouth before she'd even swallowed the previous bite.

"I don't know exactly what happened," Lauren began. "I woke up in my lab with a lab tech -"

"Whoa! You woke up with a lab tech? Go Hot Pants!" Kenzi interrupted, holding up her hand for a high-five she never received.

" - handing me some test results," Lauren finished calmly.

"Light Fae bullshit?" Crystal guessed. "Whatever that means," she added quietly.

"More or less, yes," Lauren answered cryptically as she watched Bo rub a tender spot in her back. "I figured the rest of you would be in the same shape I was so I grabbed what was needed to counteract the gas that was used on us and headed over." It's not a lie, she told herself. That was pretty much what happened. "Bo? Can I see you upstairs when you're done with breakfast?"

Bo quickly looked up from her plate, surprised that Lauren was speaking to her. "Yeah, of course."

Without raising her head from the plate, Kenzi rolled her eyes. "Finally. Bow-chicka BoBo."

Though the insinuation hung in the air, no one dared react to it. Instead Crystal broke the silence. "I think it's probably time for me to find somewhere else to go."

"See ya," Kenzi half waved, earning a punch in the arm from Bo.

"If that's what you think is best," Bo phrased diplomatically, not-so-secretly pleased by the idea herself.

"Crystal. We don't know that it's safe for you to leave," Lauren reasoned. "I -", she started hesitantly before reaching across the table to lay her hand over Crystal's. It wasn't a romantic gesture by any means, just friendly. Bo simmered nonetheless. "I don't want anything to happen to you. Because of me," Lauren finished lamely.

The infatuated smile that graced Crystal's features drew a groan from Kenzi and made Bo's jaw clench uncomfortably. Seeing that Lauren had finished eating prompted Bo to push back from the table and grab her plate to drop in the sink before turning and brushing her hands together nonchalantly. "Finished." Without another word she headed upstairs to wait for Lauren who wasted no time retrieving the bag she brought back with her from the lab and trailed behind her.

Lauren paused at the top of the stairs before entering Bo's bedroom, apprehension and worry written all over her face before she reined in her emotions. With a deep breath, she briefly pursed her lips and crossed the threshold into the room, closing the door behind her.

Bo's back was to her until she leaned against her dresser and faced her. She surprised her ex-girlfriend with a quick admission. "Lauren. I know how it looked this morning when you found us, but I promise you, nothing happened with Crystal." She cringed a little at her statement. She wasn't completely positive. "I'm pretty sure," she amended.

Lauren gave her a measured look before her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. "Who you sleep with isn't my problem anymore." She could almost see the succubus shrink back from her, but it didn't matter. "That's not why I asked to see you up here."

"Well hello, there's a surprise. We couldn't possibly talk about anything important," Bo countered, her arms folding defensively across her chest.

"I hardly think this is the time," Lauren deflected, wanting to get to the task at hand rather than debate the pitfalls of their relationship. However, in the few seconds that she took to drop her shoulder so the strap of her bag could slide down and land on the bed, she changed her mind. "Wait. What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you didn't have time to talk when we were together and it could have changed something. Why would you bother to take the time with me now?" the succubus finished haughtily.

"Jesus, Bo. You are such a child! When should I have taken the opportunity to talk to you? Hmm? When you were training for The Dawning? When you were busy "healing" with Dyson? Or maybe when you had time for drinks with Tamsin in my apartment when I was alone at my award ceremony? Which of those times would have been most convenient for you to talk about Dyson having his love back? Did you know that Tamsin came into my home to rub in my face that you kissed and that it had nothing to do with feeding? I know she stayed there after I left. Did you stay there? With her?" Lauren watched as each question hammered away at Bo's arrogance, taking no satisfaction in it.

"Okay! I get it! I was selfish and a jerk and I kept things from you and I'm sorry. But I wasn't the only one holding back. Was I, Karen?" Bo spat out the name that was foreign to her, still feeling that she had the highground.

"I don't need your bullshit apologies now. I needed your support then." She slapped away Bo's hands when she tried to reach for her. "You know the crazy thing? I'm not mad, Bo. I mean, I was. So mad and hurt and continually disappointed that I couldn't even look at you anymore." Lauren took a second to take an angry swipe at the tears she could feel leaking down her face. "I knew Taft was full of crap. I knew that from the second we met, because, dude, his eyes? They were crazy!" She stopped to catch her breath wanting to continue calmly this time, knowing she was about to drop a bombshell. "There was also a chance that your Mom was there. Between that and hoping that I might be able to regain some perspective again and find out what Taft was planning to do, I knew going was the best thing to do. It was too much to pass up."

Lauren's tongue darted out to moisten her bottom lip as she folded her arms protectively across her chest feeling like she was once again left broken and empty before Bo. "Karen was a naive and idealistic little girl who wanted to help save the world with her big brother and make him proud. Instead she made the bomb that took the lives of three women and nine men."

Bo was slightly stunned by all of her revelations but there was one in particular that was jumping out at her to be immediately discussed. "You knew my Mom was there?"

"You're not the only one with contacts, Bo. I wasn't sure, but it made sense for that information to be leaked on purpose by Taft. Even if he didn't know that you are among the most powerful Fae alive, he knew I would come to do what I could to help you find her.

I tried to find you after I changed Taft, but I found her unconscious instead. I could see she'd been stabbed but had healed enough to save herself from bleeding out. I half carried, half dragged her through the woods until I found a car I could hotwire." She omitted from Bo the part where Aife briefly woke up and was lucid long enough to stroke her hair in a motherly fashion, call her out on being in love with her daughter and reveal that because of their deep love they would always have to fight for each others worlds. Thanks Captain Obvious, but she'd figured that one out a while ago. "I don't know what happened after we got to the car. The radio started blaring The Wanderer, there was thick black smoke everywhere and then nothing. I woke up almost a day later. Aife and my memories of you were both gone," she finished.

Bo swallowed down her shame for the devastating and hurtful things she'd put the woman she claimed to love through. Lauren was still in her corner. Still fighting for her and protecting the people she loved. It made Bo feel simultaneously small and invincible and she was slowly rearranging her notions about what was really important. "After everything me and the Fae put you through, you saved Dyson and took care of my mother?"

"Of course," she answered as if it was obvious. "The people you surround yourself with make sacrifices to keep you safe because you're the hero, Bo. You just didn't have time to be mine anymore." Lauren turned away from the pained expression on Bo's face, pretending that her own heart wasn't trying to tear itself from her breast to find relief from the agony it kept beating through.

Never before had the consequences of how her selfish immature actions hurt those around her been made so clear. She'd used, abused, neglected and mistreated every single person she called friend or family in her life and she'd lost sight of the things and the people that helped her to keep her humanity, and she lost Lauren. That was the sting that almost literally brought her to her knees. She'd been in denial, believing if she could just flirt and flounce and say a few right words, things with Lauren would fall back into place and maybe this time it would be even better because if she didn't commit to Lauren and make things official, she wouldn't have to feel guilty about keeping Dyson around too. She was wrong. She didn't deserve any of the loyalty that was continually shown to her and she especially didn't deserve the love of Lauren.

The walls of her bedroom seemed to tighten in on her, squeezing the air from her lungs. She had to get out before she hurt anyone else. Bo bolted for the door only to be blocked from opening it by Lauren nearly tackling her from the side. "Let me go!" Bo held back from using force to get Lauren off her and instead opted for pulsing the arm wrapped around her torso. "Let me go, Lauren," she said again, forcing her own voice to be calm as she pulsed her again. To her surprise Lauren did not let her go, and maybe she didn't want her to. Lauren's arms loosened their hold just a bit and to compensate and make sure Bo did not get out of her grip, she let her legs buckle and dropped them both to the floor. "Let me go," Bo tried one last time.

"I can't." Lauren's choked whisper broke Bo's resolve, her own arms encircling Lauren with their bodies melting together until it was no longer clear who was giving and who was receiving comfort.


	6. Instant Crush

Each of the strong women knew no matter how long they held each other, it wouldn't be long enough. Not long enough to erase all the pain between them. Not long enough to fix their problems. Not remotely long enough to say all the things they still had left to say to each other. But neither one of them let go because they were both afraid that once this connection between them was interrupted, there was no telling when they would risk establishing it again. So they didn't let go. Not until a gentle and roaming caress from Lauren over Bo's spine drew a slight hiss of pain and involuntary jerk that brought reality crashing back down on the doctor. "I'm okay," Bo quickly assured the pretty blonde, tightening her arms around Lauren when she felt her begin to withdraw. 

The surge of pain that Lauren felt in that moment caused her to momentarily tighten her own hold on Bo and she moved to press her lips tenderly against her forehead. "You're not okay, Bo," she whispered fearfully. 

Bo moved in the circle of Lauren's arms, needing to see her face. "I'm fine, Lauren," she reassured her with a confident smile, confused and troubled by the pained expression of her lovers face. "I just bumped my back somewhere and there's a sore spot. Nothing to worry about."

Lauren moved out of Bo's embrace, swallowing thickly before beginning what would be one of the most difficult conversations she would ever have. "The pain in your back is from a lumbar puncture performed less than twelve hours ago," she paused as Bo's face scrunched up in disbelief, her head shaking. "Yes," Lauren insisted, reaching around Bo and lightly ghosting her fingers over the base of Bo's spine. "Cerebrospinal fluid was collected to look for anomalies and you also underwent an MRI," she moved her head to watch as Bo pulled away from her and defiantly stood. 

"What the hell, Lauren? Why?" Bo questioned, her voice rising as she paced the small space in front of Lauren. "Why did you do that to me?"

"I didn't, Bo! I didn't know what was happening any more than you did. I only know because the results were given to me to diagnose," Lauren clarified, climbing to her feet. "You have to believe me. If I had any control over any of this, I would not have allowed this to happen." She grabbed Bo's wrists and held her in place. "I am as angry as you are and there will be hell to pay, but right now we need to look beyond that," she stressed. "We need to focus on the results."

"Why? What exactly is so wrong with me?" Bo demanded, not for a second convinced there was any real problem until she watched a wash of emotions pass over Laurens face, none of them good. None of them reassuring. "Lauren?" she questioned, her voice wavering as real fear settled in.

"When you were preparing for the Dawning, we knew that on a cellular level your DNA was also preparing itself to be altered," Lauren began. "The outcome of the Dawning was programmed biologically to either de-evolve you, changing everything from your cerebral development to your species, or to progress and maintain your evolution."

"I remember. But.. I beat the Dawning. I don't have to worry about becoming an underfae anymore. Right?" Bo waited wide-eyed for Lauren's reply.

"Not physically, no," the doctor answered cryptically. "Passing the Dawning stopped the reprogramming of your DNA. But something else has triggered the cerebral regression."

"Regression?" Bo shook her head. It didn't seem real. It was too much to process. "How? Why?"

"I don't know how, but I promise you. I will find a way to stop what's happening to you. I won't rest until I do," Lauren assured her. "As for the why, we already know that much," she carefully confessed.

"More secrets, Lauren? Who is 'we'? The Light? Trick? Just tell me!" 

"Dammit, Bo! I will tell you," Lauren promised, grasping Bo by the shoulders and guiding her to the bed. "Just sit. Please. I came to you as soon as I knew what was happening. Just give me the chance to talk through it with you." Lauren pulled the chair she used earlier to the side of the bed and sat in front of Bo, their knees pressing against each other once Bo finally sat down and agreed to listen. Unconsciously they both leaned in towards each other and Lauren sandwiched Bo's hand between her own. 

They were so immersed in the tense moment that they didn't hear Kenzi's combat boots running up the stairs, but her frantic banging on the door when she found that it was locked certainly got their attention. "Bo! Lauren! You need to get down here right now!"

Bo was at the door in an instant, swinging it open widely. "Not a good time, Kenzi!"

"Yeah, sorry to interrupt the lurvefest but some serious shit is about to go down. We're either being surrounded by Jehovah's Witnesses, or the Una Mens are dropping by for a visit. I'm scared either way."

Lauren appeared beside Bo. "I can't risk the safety of you and Kenzi. If I tell them what they have to gain by just taking me and leaving you alone, it'll be okay."

Kenzi's eyes widened almost comically at the offer. "No effaeing way!"

"I agree. The only way they're getting their hands on you is over my dead body," Bo huffed, racing back to her weapons chest to collect a few of her favorite things.

"Bo. You can't fight them. This is madness," Lauren trailed behind to reason with her.

"No. Madness is you thinking I'd let them take you," Bo countered, tossing a sheathed katana in Kenzi's direction.

Lauren surprised them all by reaching into the chest and withdrawing one of the many semi-auto pistols that had made their way into the succubus' armory. Bo didn't care for them, preferring hand to hand combat, but in the right hands there was no denying they were lethal. What was even more shocking was to see the doctor expertly drop the magazine out of the weapon to check the ammo before slamming it back home and pulling the slide back to load a round in the chamber. Carefully decocking the weapon before flipping the safety on she tucked it into her waistband at the small of her back before reaching for another pistol and repeated the action, this time keeping the weapon in her hand. "What?" she asked innocently in response to the looks on Bo and Kenzi's faces, as if this wasn't completely out of the ordinary. "If this turns into a fight, I should at least be right beside you."

"Damn girl, you got skillz!" Kenzi praised, holding her hand up and receiving a smirk before Lauren awkwardly high-fived her, mostly missing the stationary hand. "Let's hope you're a better shot," the tiny Russian muttered as she turned away. 

"We will talk about this later," Bo asserted, keeping her eyes locked on to Lauren's until she gave a begrudging nod.

"We have a lot to talk about," the doctor reminded her unnecessarily. The gun in her hand was just one more thing to add to the list.

"Where's Crystal?" Lauren questioned as they tromped down the stairs single file moments later and the newcomer was nowhere to be seen. 

"She dashed into the basement to hide at the first sign of trouble," Kenzi reported, moving aside and waiting for Bo and Lauren at the bottom of the stairs for Bo to issue instructions.

"They have to know we know they're here," Bo deduced. "I'm going to take it as a good sign that they haven't started coming through the doors or windows yet." She chewed on the inside of her cheek momentarily. "They obviously know Lauren is here, so let's try the diplomatic route before it escalates." Receiving a nod of agreement from each woman, she went on. "Let's try to keep the majority of them outside and don't let them draw us out into the open." The instructions had barely left her mouth when The Keeper, followed by two more members of the council entered through her front door and came to a stop in Bo's living room. 

"I don't recall issuing an invitation for you to enter my home," Bo remarked, stepping forward and coming to a stop a few feet away from her visitors as Kenzi and Lauren flanked her. Unlike the Una Mens that stood slightly behind and to either side of The Keeper, Lauren and Kenzi stood at the line with Bo as a united front.

The Keeper dismissed Bo's words, barely even glancing at Lauren. "You are harboring the fugitive human doctor. You are in violation of the Blood Laws -" the asexual fae began her spiel. 

"Wrong." Bo interrupted. "You are trespassing. I am unaligned and do not answer to your laws. She has sanctuary here and any violation of that will be viewed as an act of war. So kindly do the hokey pokey, turn yourself around and get the fuck out of here."

"Very diplomatic," Kenzi murmured out the side of her mouth.

"I said 'kindly'," Bo murmured back.

"For your interference, we will kill what you love. Your doctor. Your human and your wolf. That will be your punishment and the burden you must bear," The Keeper replied dispassionately. 

"You picked the wrong succubus to piss off," Bo stepped forward, her eyes immediately transforming to a glowing blue and her voice booming with a power that resonated like a drum echoing through their chests. "You dare to come into my home and threaten my family? You have no idea the power I wield. The only reason you and your little circle of jerk offs continue to exist is because you've stayed out of my way until now. Last chance. Leave now or die where you stand," Bo warned, looking straight into The Keepers eyes, not noticing that Kenzi had drawn her sword and was standing at the ready while Lauren steadily and resolutely targeted the Una Mens directly in front of her with the weapon in her hand.

"No blood will be spilled on this day," The Keeper announced, the council as a collective protecting their existence in the face of the very real threat that Bo posed.

"Get out," the succubus ordered, her eyes shining blue until the last Una Mens disappeared from view and they heard the sound of the front door closing. 

"And stay out, bitches!" Kenzi added, triumphantly throwing a roundhouse kick into the air. 

Lauren couldn't get the deadly weapon in her hand away from her fast enough. After dropping the ammo clip and working the slide to remove the bullet from the chamber to make the gun inoperable, she put it on the counter and reached for the second gun in her waistband and did it again, breathing a sigh of relief that she was no longer touching them. She caught Kenzi watching her and gave the mini powerhouse a slight eyeroll. 

"You got some explaining to do," Kenzi remarked.

"I know," Lauren agreed, her attention focused on Bo, who had yet to turn around. She approached Bo carefully, unable to tell if the Succubus was just making sure the Una Mens were really gone or if there was something else keeping her rooted in place. "Bo?" she asked tentatively, laying a hand on her arm and jerking it back when she felt how hot Bo's skin felt. Not the warm and invitingly comfortable heat Bo normally exuded, but actually radiating it at a dangerously high level. "Bo!" She moved quickly now, turning her around to face her. Bo's face was twisted in pain, her pupils dilated tightly and her jaw seemed locked in a silent scream. She caught Bo as her legs finally gave out and prevented her from dropping like a ton of bricks. Kenzi sprang into action and between the two of them they managed to lower Bo to the floor gently. Her body convulsed painfully and the only thing Kenzi and Lauren could do was remove anything from Bo's reach that could possibly injure her while her body was plagued by one seizure seemingly after another. 

"Do something!" Kenzi begged, helpless to do anything but watch as her best friend writhed in pain.

Lauren wanted to help. Every ounce of her screamed out with the need to stop what was happening to Bo, but as she quickly thought about everything she had with her, she knew she was helpless to do anything but wait for it to pass. She was ashamed that she was completely unprepared for this. It seemed like forever, but in reality couldn't have been more than ninety seconds before the seizure subsided and Bo's movements became slower and slower until she was still. Lauren was beside her in an instant, doing what she could to make her comfortable and to examine her. Her temperature was still worryingly off the charts and Lauren worked on removing Bo's clothes as she tasked Kenzi to bring her wet towels, ice packs and anything else she could think of to help bring Bo's temperature back down. Kenzi returned a couple of minutes later with everything Lauren had asked for plus a box fan. It was such a great idea that she could have kissed Kenzi. Instead she covered Bo with the water soaked towels and strategically placed bags of ice around Bo's body while Kenzi plugged the fan in and aimed it in their direction. 

Bo's temperature gradually lowered over the next few hours but she did not regain consciousness. During that time both Kenzi and Crystal had helped exchange the towels warmed by Bo's temp with fresh ones and Lauren had made a few discreet calls to request more medical supplies. A few of the contacts she called outrightly refused to even speak with her, but eventually she had what she needed. Hale and Dyson found a way in without drawing any attention and helped move Bo upstairs to her own bed. Lauren wanted to move her to the clinic but was informed by Dyson that it was now forbidden by the Una Mens for any Light Fae to have contact or dealings with the unaligned succubus and her humans. If Dyson or Hale was caught with them, they would suffer immediate and likely deadly consequences. 

They couldn't even risk taking her to a regular human hospital. Her temperature alone would raise an alarm and potentially alert the Una Mens that there was something wrong. There just wasn't anywhere safer than her own bed and Lauren knew that Bo wouldn't want to be anywhere else anyway. 

Night came and they continued to work on lowering Bo's temperature to a level that Lauren was comfortable with. Around midnight, when it seemed Bo was out of the woods and there was nothing more to do than wait for her to wake up, Lauren sent everyone to bed. Crystal opted for crashing on the couch while Kenzi suffered for a while on another chair they pulled into Bo's room until Lauren kicked her out of it and pushed her into the bed beside Bo. Kenzi tried to hide how much she appreciated Lauren taking care of not just Bo, but her too. She was still pretty sure Lauren caught her wiping away a tear, though the good doc was kind enough not to mention or acknowledge it. Kenzi was out like a light a few minutes later and snored softer than she would have ever believed the boisterous girl was capable of.

Around three in morning, Lauren placed her fingers on the inside of Bo's wrist, silently counting as she watched her second-hand on her watch. This part of her job always seemed so soothing to her and this was no exception, or maybe it was just because she got to have physical contact with Bo. Her heart beat steadily and strongly and she could feel some of the tension drop away from her shoulders. 

"How am I doing?" Bo rasped out, her throat dry and rough feeling. Her eyes drifted open and came to rest on Lauren's, instantly focusing on the woman she'd always found breathtakingly beautiful. 

Lauren smiled widely, happy to see Bo finally awake. "Better. Much better," she answered as she held up a bottle of sports drink for Bo to see and moved it closer when the succubus quickly nodded. "Easy," Lauren cautioned, smoothing Bo's hair over her ear as she drank as greedily as possible through a straw. 

Bo gave a satisfied sigh when she was done, closing her eyes momentarily before finding Laurens again. "Can I sit up?" she quizzed, moving her arms to push herself up. 

"Nope," Lauren answered succinctly, gently pressing Bo back down. 

"Wow. Mean," Bo pouted. "I think you should have to kiss it better," she told the doctor with a straight face. Gods, but she loved Lauren. Loved the way her head dipped down and the shy tight-lipped smile she always got whenever she managed to make her blush. Just like now. Her aura went from a concerned three to an amused and aroused eight.

"You're an awful patient," the doctor complained, her smile growing even brighter when Bo took her hands in hers. She didn't pull away. Couldn't if she tried, but she also made no move to kiss Bo after what was an obvious invitation to do so.

"Well your bedside manner is terrible. I've never had to beg someone to kiss me before," Bo grumped, genuinely looking hurt.

"Are you begging me?" Lauren asked, all playfulness slipping away.

Bo's eyes searched Laurens, almost afraid of what she might find as the woman left her feeling completely raw and exposed – something she was not used to in the least. Her eyes never left Laurens as her tongue darted out without her permission to moisten her lips, which did not go unnoticed by the doctor and she watched those eyes darken with desire. "Yes."


	7. Last Request

Lauren felt herself automatically gravitate towards Bo before she stopped herself. She could see the eagerness in Bo's eyes turn to disappointment as she sat back, putting a respectable distance between the two of them. "I think things are confusing enough right now without adding this to it," the doctor lamented. 

Downcast, Bo nodded. "You're right. There are a lot of things I'm confused about. A lot of things that I didn't understand before and a lot that I didn't want to," she admitted. "But, Lauren, my feelings for you have never been unclear - even when I was confused about how to deal with them and how to treat you, there's always been a certainty. For you." Bo waited for some kind of response from Lauren. When it became clear that there wasn't going to be one, Bo sighed. "I thought we were supposed to be working on communication here?"

"We are. But we have other things to communicate that trump this discussion. You're weak right now. You need rest. You need to feed." Lauren shrugged, unbelieving how much things had changed when she was the one ruefully making the next suggestion. "You need Dyson."

Before Bo could respond, Kenzi sat up and groaned loudly besides her, their talking obviously non-conducive to her sleep. "If you two are gonna yammer all night, I'm outta here," she grumbled pulling Bo into a strong hug. "I'm glad you're awake, Bobo. And I'm extra glad that Hotpants was here to watch over you." She gave the doctor a light punch in the arm as she climbed off the bed and made her way to her own bedroom, leaving a pregnant pause hanging between the two women. 

"So. Regression," Bo started hesitantly, her hand shaking slightly just from the exertion of reaching for the sports drink on the nightstand. "You said it wouldn't be a physical regression. What does that mean?"

Lauren took a deep breath and wished for a bit of liquid courage as she helped Bo hold the bottle steady so Bo could finish off the drink before returning the now empty bottle to the stand. Why was nothing ever easy with Bo? "It means that the changes you're experiencing now and the changes that will begin to accelerate as your condition deteriorates will all be cerebral. Any physical changes will be secondary as a result of that deterioration."

"For once, your geek speak is not turning me on," Bo remarked, the corners of her mouth pulling down. "Should I be scared?"

"Don't be scared," Lauren pleads. The truth was that she was scared enough for the both of them. "I swear we will beat this. Don't you even think about quitting on me, Succubus."

Bo smiled faintly at Lauren's false bravado before asking the hardest question. "How long do I have before I'm .. not me?"

"Doesn't matter. We're going to figure this out and -"

"Lauren," Bo stopped her, just needing a straight answer. She knew already her expiration date was approaching quickly based off Lauren's body language, but she needed to quantify it with a number. "How long?" she repeated.

"Weeks. The rate of decay seems to be accelerating, but I think I know a way to at least slow it down so it's not likely that you'll start to notice the effects for a few weeks. The deterioration will be irreversible after a certain point. Your brain will essentially become toxic to itself."

Bo silently digested everything Lauren said. Lauren watched, helpless. Once again her human frailty was failing Bo when she most needed help. She couldn't physically sustain her, nor was she even confident that she could stop the regression in time to save the woman she'd gladly give her own life to save. She didn't even have access to her lab. All the promises she made Bo felt hollow and empty, but she also knew she would fight like hell to do what she needed to do.

Needing physical contact, Bo reached out and softly held Lauren's hand, her voice was soft and warm and begged Lauren to share something intimate with her. "Will you tell me about Alex?"

Lauren grinned widely for a split second at the mention of her brother’s name before pain overtook the initial joy. It was time, she acknowledged. Time to share her brother and herself with Bo. "Alex," she started with the smile of joy returning once more as she said his name. "Pain in the ass big brother does not begin to describe him. Two years older than me. Shy and quiet until you really got to know him and got him to open up, but it was hard for people to make that effort. Even for my parents. They always focused and doted on me because I was the healthy and normal academic type with the outgoing personality and Alex had developmental problems early on and was diagnosed with a genetic disability. I started walking and talking before he did and I remember knowing clearly at a very young age that I was treated much differently than Alex." 

Bo eyes shone with pride for Lauren, her heart touched beyond words as she gently interrupted her. "That's why you became a genetic scientist, isn't it?"

Laurens eyes immediately filled with unshed tears as she nodded her head. "When I was worried or stressed or just overwhelmed with school or life or whatever, even if he didn't understand what it was that I was upset about, he understood that I was upset. He would always do anything he could to make me feel better. He was the first person I came out to and he just said as long as the girls that I like, like me back, everything will be okay. Like it never crossed his mind that there was anything unusual or strange about me confessing I like girls. Completely opposite from the way my parents treated me and tried to make me feel when I told them."

"I love him already," Bo smiled. Lauren had barely begun her tale but she could already feel herself fading quickly with exhaustion. She patted the empty space on the bed beside her. "Lay with me?"

"You're exhausted, Bo," Lauren felt bad for keeping the worn woman awake when it was obvious how tired she was, but it was the first time she felt okay with sharing her secrets with Bo and she greedily didn't want to lose that. "I should let you sleep," she suggested in spite of herself.

Bo's hand shot out to grab her wrist to prevent her from turning away, a reversal of a time and a place that seemed so far away. "Don't go," she pleads. "I want to hear more about Alex and I need to be close to you right now. Please?"

Lauren silently debated if lying beside Bo was the smartest thing to do when all she wanted to do was curl into Bo's warmth and lose herself there. "No funny business?"

Bo grinned, crossing her chest with two fingers before mockingly swearing, "Succubus' honor."

The cherub-like grin that Lauren gave her as she climbed into bed beside her made it awfully difficult for Bo to said promise. "That's very reassuring," she teased, turning on her side, resting a hand between her face and the pillow.

Bo mimicked her position and they found themselves face to face, their legs brushing lightly against each other, but not tangled together as they would be in almost any other situation. She waited patiently for Lauren to continue, reaching out to stroke her face when she seemed hesitant at where to start again.

Lauren felt herself relax at Bo's touch, picking one of her favorite memories to share. "Alex and I were very big into the whole Star Trek scene. We'd have these marathon weekends where we'd binge watch an entire season or watch all the movies until we couldn't stay awake. We'd fall asleep on opposite ends of the couch and wake up a few hours later and pick up where we left off. Whenever he got mad about something, which was pretty rare, he'd imitate Kirk and yell "Khaaaaaan!"" Lauren mimicked, drawing a giggle from Bo as she did so. "And then he was over whatever it was that made him mad." Bo watched as her smile slipped away and her tone took on a solemn one as she continued. "On September 11, 2001, my girlfriend was killed in the attacks on the World Trade Center. Tasha and I met when I was a freshman at Yale and we were pretty much inseparable."

Lauren's eyes closed when Bo's thumbs caught and brushed away tears that escaped when her emotions overflowed with the telling of her story. Bo felt her own heart ache with the heavy knowledge that Lauren had loved and lost so much already and was in awe that she was actually right beside her and intended to be there when every ounce of self-preservation she possessed should have been telling Lauren to run when she knew what she was facing with Bo. When next she opened them, Bo saw the fierce determination that she knew and loved flash in them. 

"I had to do something. I couldn't stand by and do nothing. I traded in my research position and pristine lab coat for battle fatigues, blood and sand. I enlisted with the Canadian Forces as a medic and was deployed to Afghanistan in January of 2002. Alex was very upset that I left and that I was far away and he understood that what I was doing was dangerous. He started acting out both verbally and physically - something he had never really done before. I tried to keep in contact with him, but it was impossible. My unit was moved around a lot and communications were pretty slow in getting to us. It took months for me to find out that my parents moved Alex into a group home when they couldn't handle him anymore. He started getting involved with different activist groups and most of them were harmless, but there was one group that latched on to him that was more extreme and Alex thought that the quickest way to get me home was to end the war and the people he was hanging out with convinced him that they had figured out how to do that."

A feeling of dread crept over Bo sensing that the worst was yet to come. She rolled on to her back tugging gently on Lauren's shoulder so she would get the idea of her intentions. Lauren eagerly moved closer, laying her head on Bo's chest and allowed herself to be held. "It wasn't uncommon for our vehicles do draw fire wherever we went, but one sunny Saturday afternoon my unit was ambushed outside Kabul. An IED took out the lead vehicle in our caravan with my commanding officer in it and the armored vehicle that I was in took heavy fire. Another bomb went off right underneath us. I was sitting far enough away that it didn't kill me, but I had to push the bodies of my friends off me before I could even move. And I had to move. I knew they would be coming to make sure there were no survivors." Bo's arms tightened around her and she took a second to relish the comfort. "I saw Andrews, one of the soldiers that I played touch football with the day before trying to get his vest off so he could pull free from a piece of twisted metal sticking out of his back and holding him in place. I grabbed his arm and yanked him free. I remember thinking another explosion went off right next to my head, but it was gunfire. Andrews was shooting towards the mangled doorway at a Taliban soldier that poked his head in. A second later a grenade was tossed inside and landed right next to me. I picked it up and tossed it back towards the door and it exploded before it made it outside but somehow Andrews managed to roll on top of and shield me. He saved my life by sacrificing his own.

They weren't expecting any survivors when they drug me outside and I shouldn't have made it. I should have died that day, Bo. But when they were standing over the bodies of the men and women that I worked, slept, ate and fought to save lives side by side with and putting a bullet in each one of us to make sure we were dead, I grabbed Andrews weapon and killed five men in less than a minute. I didn't even think. I just kept pointing and firing until no one was standing anymore. My unit was completely wiped out, except for me. The secondary unit traveling behind us in the convoy fared better in the attack and protected me until we were all evacuated an hour later."

"God, Lauren. I'm so sorry," Bo whispered, fiercely holding Lauren to her body, freely offering whatever strength she had to the woman in her arms. Years and the happiness that she'd experienced both with Bo and without kept Lauren from breaking down completely. She was surprised to find that she'd healed enough to keep from drowning in that particular memory. 

"They sent me home. Discharged me and diagnosed me with PTSD. I felt lost and Alex was so hurt and didn't know how to trust me at all and that was almost worse than anything I'd experienced in Afghanistan. I devoted all my energy into making things right with him. It took a while, but he finally agreed to move out of the group home and into an apartment with me. I went with him to all of the peaceful and not so peaceful demonstrations and sat with him through meetings and met 'The Family' that he trusted more than me. Fundamentally, I agreed with their cause and thought it was worth fighting for, but I didn't agree with their methods that were becoming more extreme and violent.” Lauren swallowed thickly before going on. “The more involved I became, the more Alex began to trust and open up to me again and that meant everything. I went along with so much that I knew I shouldn't have and before I knew it, I was meeting with arms dealers and assembling bombs designed to destroy pipelines. I slowly began to leak information about our plans to the authorities, making deals as I did so that Alex would be protected above all else. We had plans to blow a pipeline in British Columbia and once I knew the location, I let the authorities know when and where it was going to be.

The Family discovered that I was leaking intel and changed the location at the last minute and my bomb detonated during scheduled line maintenance. Whether they knew there was going to be people around when it exploded doesn't change the fact that I am responsible for twelve men and women dying that day, including Karen Beattie. The authorities assumed that I double-crossed them. I tried to find Alex so I could explain what was happening and I needed to be the one that told him I was turning myself in, but he was gone. I didn't know if he was in custody or if The Family had him. Nobody was going to tell me where he was and I couldn't help Alex if I was behind bars. So I ran. I knew how to disappear and I knew how to change my identity and survive. I quietly looked for him for months. There was nothing in the news about him being arrested or being on the run. I even searched death records. I eventually contacted my parents and they wouldn't tell me where he was, either. They wouldn't even talk to me beyond telling me how ashamed they were of their daughter and that I was dead to them. I kept running," Lauren cried, her chin trembling in spite of her efforts to not break down. "When I met Nadia I threw myself into being Lauren Lewis and being with her. I always felt like I was on the verge of being found, so when an opportunity came up to do research in the Congo, I took it. I selfishly convinced Nadia to come with me when I should have just ended it and gone by myself. I was so tired, Bo. So tired of running and being alone and look what I did to her!" Holding back was no longer possible and Bo held her tight and made it okay for Lauren to let go of some of the weight she'd been carrying around for so long. She held her as the tidal wave of guilt washed over her, whispering words of love and acceptance and promising not to let go as Lauren's face stayed firmly buried against her neck. 

The dawning of the new day found them locked in each other’s embrace, sleeping soundly and finding comfort and acceptance in each other’s arms. It was better than either of them could have imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write.. I almost wish it was full of smut, because THAT would have been easier! I feel like I should add a disclaimer that this was written to entertain and written based on the feelings perceived from fictitious characters. So.. you know. Be gentle with me. :)


	8. The Space Between

Lauren awoke to the sounds of Jungle Jeeves at a nearly ear-splitting decibel from downstairs and Bo's body cocooning her in a warmth and comfort she hated to leave. It didn't happen often when they were together that Bo would be the last to wake up and just like every time she had the opportunity then, she stayed in the moment for as long as she dared. She didn't want to leave the safe harbor she found after her early morning confessions, but Bo's condition wasn't going to cure itself and there was no time to waste.

Bo barely stirred when Lauren carefully untangled herself and moved off the bed except to push her face deeper into the pillow she'd just vacated, a testament to how much facing the Una Mens and subsequent fever took out of her. With strength she didn't know she possessed she reached for Bo's phone and texted Dyson and Trick. Now that Bo was no longer unconscious she could heal and while Trick may be able to provide her with some valuable insight if something like this had ever happened in Fae history, he also had the resources to procure some of the rare and hard to find ingredients she hoped would be instrumental in slowing the regression down. She even held out hope that he may know of a lab she could begin her work in.

Her thumb hovered over the screen containing her succinct text to Dyson. She regretted not contacting the powerful shifter sooner but she was selfishly caught up in reliving a past that she could no longer run from or keep from Bo and she would never regret sharing her history with the woman who even now and against all odds, felt like her inevitable future.

Dyson's presence requested, she made her way downstairs and just as the obnoxious noise level suggested, Crystal and Kenzi were camped out on the couch with empty cereal bowls between them on the cushions. Kenzi was first to acknowledge her, beckoning Lauren over and in true comical Kenzi fashion, made a show of quietly asking about Bo, whispering as if the television wasn't blaring and she was being considerate. After reassuring her that her best friend was resting peacefully, Kenzi then suggested that what Bo really needed was a stack of pancakes and while Lauren agreed to provide said quantity of pancakes, what her own heart desired was a strong cup of coffee and a shower to hopefully jolt her awake so that she would be ready for whatever the day threw at her.

Crystal joined her by the coffee pot a moment later, her eyes twinkling with desire as she stood inside Lauren's personal space under the guise of pouring sugar in her coffee mug. Lauren was not entirely immune to the pretty waitress's advances and had a hard time not reacting to Crystal lightly grazing her neck with her fingertips as she pushed Lauren's hair behind her ear. She made inane small talk as Crystal's hand wandered down her back and to her hip. It was clear what Crystal wanted, but not apparent to Lauren how she should react. Her heart and soul belonged to Bo. It was as simple and as complicated as that. Bo was a succubus. A creature that by design could not be trusted with her heart or anyone else's without it becoming an unbearable burden.

"Are you and Bo - " Crystal began nonchalantly, not knowing how to label whatever the nature of the doctor and the succubus' relationship was.

"She's under my care," Lauren filled in the blanks, not moving away when Crystal drew their hips together but making no move to reciprocate the attention she was receiving.

"And that's it?" Crystal wondered aloud, noting that Lauren was emotionally compartmentalizing herself from the woman resting just upstairs. She would have to be a fool to not see how the gorgeous brunette and Lauren looked at each other.

"That's all it can be," Lauren responded, finally taking action and pulling away.

"But you want more," Crystal stated the obvious.

"That's not important," Lauren disagreed.

"You're wrong, Doctor," Crystal smiled sadly, drawing Lauren closer enough to kiss her. Not a kiss of passion. Instead, it was a kiss of understanding and compassion. A kiss to end what might have been and never could be and Lauren immediately recognized it for what is was. "It's the only thing that is important."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, what? You're my pimp now?" Bo stomped into the kitchen, pushing the long sleeves of her black sweater up her arms as she stood in front of Lauren, demanding answers as waves of equal parts hurt and anger poured off her.

There had been a surprising lack of noise coming from upstairs. No headboard banging against the walls. No chunks of plaster dropping to the floor. No cries of passion or sounds of pleasure. Nothing. In fact, Dyson wasn't there long before he nearly sprinted out the door only to be prevented in his hasty escape by Crystal delivering a surprise request to leave. This wasn't her fight. She didn't know enough to be a threat to either side and she could disappear easily with Dyson's help. There was no talking her out of it and there were no hard feelings on either side as she left with the detective who begrudgingly promised he would see to her safety.

"Easy, Wondersnatch," Kenzi cautioned trying to guide Bo back towards the living room noting the exhaustion lines etched into Bo's normally healthy and youthful complexion, but the succubus was having nothing to do with it.

"Stay out of this, Kenz!" Bo warned, turning back to Lauren. "You called Dyson?"

Lauren's voice was calm and warm as she responded knowing that Bo needed to avoid highly stressful situations. "I texted him, actually. You were weak and you needed to heal, Bo," she reached out to lay a gentle hand on Bo's shoulder and grasped nothing but air as the angry woman stepped out of her reach. Steeling herself, her hands dropped listlessly to her sides. "You've used Dyson for precisely those reasons on several occasions." Lauren tried a different tactic, keeping her tone even and professional this time, frustrated and if she dared to admit it, thrilled that Bo had not taken advantage of the opportunity she'd handed her.

"You know I have! But -"

"You and Dyson currently share a physical relationship. Correct?" Lauren pressed on with undeniable truths, ignoring her personal feelings in favor of logically disassembling Bo's anger. "You both acknowledge that he's had his love back for you for some time," she added.

"Why are you acting like a robot? Like this doesn't matter to you?" Bo questioned, hurt evident in her tone.

"What matters is that Dyson is willing and able to heal you and help you maintain your strength. What matters is that unlike any other Fae I could have contacted to heal you, Dyson is the only to willingly disobey the Una Mens. What matters is that you have every possible weapon at your disposal to fight this thing," Lauren reasoned. "He would have been here today even if I hadn't asked him to be. I simply sped up the process."

Bo felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under her feet. The strong sensation of spinning clouding her thoughts had nothing to do with the steady deterioration of everything that she was. "But I thought -" she began, trying to sort her feelings into actual words. "After last night - " she tried again. "I told Dyson that I couldn't.. That we couldn't -"

"Oh, Bo." Lauren pushed a hand through her hair, trying not to convey her frustration. "You didn't heal. Why would you do that? You're a succubus. You need to keep a regular feeding schedule. Especially now," Lauren reminded gently, stubbornly ignoring what Bo was struggling to tell her. It made her feel too much.

"And you'd be okay with that?" Bo questioned and Lauren forced herself not to flinch at the blatant hurt in her former lovers eyes.

"Of course," she answered quickly. What other choice did she have? No matter how much Lauren wanted to be enough, she simply wasn't. In her mind, she was eliminated from Bo's list of suitable mates immediately. She had tried and failed to keep up with Bo's appetites and lost a good chunk of her own self-worth in the process. She wasn't ready to lose Bo again. Not now. Not ever. Claiming Bo's heart again wasn't something she'd couldn't afford to allow the possibility of.

Bo knew she was lying. She knew Lauren was lying when she healed with Dyson and they came to that disastrous agreement all those months ago when she was selfishly unwilling to do anything about it. "Bullshit." Lauren's eyes flashed angrily just long enough for Bo to see it and forge ahead. "Bull. Shit." She repeated for emphasis, confronting Lauren head on; something she'd masterfully avoided while they were together. "I'm not okay with it, so I know you're not. Why are you trying to convince me otherwise? Are you just trying to separate your feelings for me so it will be easier for you when I drop dead?" Bo spat out, no longer feeling like she had the time to filter what should and shouldn't be said.

"You are not going to die!" Lauren responded vehemently.

"Okay, fine. Then be with me," Bo challenged, suddenly very pleased with herself and with the freedom to blurt things out.

"What?" Lauren shook her head in wonder, her face unable to disguise her confusion as her emotions whiplashed from one extreme to the other. She impulsively reached out to feel Bo's forehead, searching for some signs that the succubus was in the grips of another fever. It was the only thing that seemed rational in the face of Bo's curious behaviour, but her temperature didn't seem elevated - just her normal swoon-worthy warmth that always seemed to be drawing Lauren in.

"Lauren," Bo called her name softly, the tempest between them calming with one simple touch. "Do you love me?"

She felt her face softening involuntarily at the question. Of course she did. "That's not im -"

"Don't you dare say it's not important," Bo stopped her looking more than a little offended, the storm threatening to rise again. "It's a simple question. Yes or no?"

Kenzi felt like a trapped voyeur. She was an unwilling witness to the drama unfolding in front of her. She'd tried to discreetly inch herself out of the room to give them the privacy that a conversation like this deserved, but she couldn't make her feet budge from their current spot. She felt more than a little sympathy for Lauren. It was obvious she'd always been in love with Bo and continued to be. But being in love with Bo hadn't stopped the succubus from taking advantage of Lauren's trust and abusing the hell out of it. The tiny Russian had to admit to herself that she was just as guilty in taking Lauren's love for Bo for granted - even going so far as to encourage Bo's careless behaviour with Tamsin and anyone else that caught Bo's eye. She had no regard for Lauren's feelings at all. It wasn't often that she felt ashamed of something she did, but in this moment, she did.

"I do," Lauren admitted. Quickly shushing Bo before she could get carried away with the wrong idea. "But that doesn't change the fact that I can't sustain you. I'm not enough and I'm not evolved enough emotionally to be okay with that and to share you," she finished with a sad shrug of her shoulders. "I am left with the reality that there will always be another time the world needs saving, or some sexy not-quite-villain that will turn your head, or some wolf that gets his love back from you, or some legend in a prophecy that only you can release. I can't compete with that and I'm not going to try anymore. I'm a distraction. And I'm not that selfless."

"You're wrong," Bo promised, gripping the very shoulders that were carrying the weight of sins from both their pasts. "You sustain me in all the ways that count. And it's time that I earned your trust and showed you that when it matters, you can count on me."

"I don't need grand gestures," Lauren disagreed, her hands coming up to rest on Bo's wrists. "I just need you to survive. This isn't the time."

"This is exactly the time," Bo asserted. "What good is surviving when there's nothing to look forward to? Weren't you the one who taught me to be patient and to have goals?" Lauren's lips pressed tightly together as she tamped down the urge to smile at the ridiculously gorgeous creature in front of her who needed no tricks of succubussary to woo her. "I can have patience. Especially when my goal involves a certain doctor," Bo continued brightly.

"Dr. Monroe?" Lauren teased in a vast contradiction to her own judgment. Dr. Monroe wasn't so much of a doctor as he was an ancient man shuffling around in a lab coat with immense bushy eyebrows and frighteningly long nose hair. Both of which he seemed perfectly unaware of. To be honest, Lauren had no idea what his exact purpose at The Light lab was. Other than returning books to the archives, she'd never seen him actually do anything.

"I've heard that much hair can be a sign of virility," Bo sassed, grinning as Lauren's face pinched with distaste. Her easy smile slipped away as she dipped her head to catch Lauren's eye. "I'm serious about this. I need you to know that."

As flattered as Lauren was, and she was, immensely so, she also felt the ache of reality. "You need to be concentrating on staying healthy. On beating this. I love you. I love you so much and I will always be in your corner. I can't give you any more than that. Maybe that's not enough, but we were lovers before and that wasn't enough."

"That's not true," Bo's denied.

"It is true. You're a succubus. And I'm human ," Lauren argued, feeling like she'd have more luck reasoning with an actual brick wall.

Bo shook her head, her eyes plead with Lauren to believe her. "Stop saying that. I don't care about that!"

"That's always been part of the problem!" Lauren replied, her wall of contained rationale slipping. "You choose not to see what a spectacular disadvantage I'm already at because of that. There is no level playing field between us just because you want to ignore your biology because you've proven that you won't or can't. I'm a shot, Bo. We do the same things. We help control your urges until they can't be ignored anymore. You're not a monster. You're not. You are a one hundred percent fully functioning succubus with a healthy sexual appetite who should have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of."

"Great ! I'm not a monster, but I'm not girlfriend material either," Bo spat in defeat, trying not to pay attention to the growing buzzing in her head and the strong urge she felt to just sink to the floor.

"Bo," Lauren started, trying to rest a reassuring hand on Bo's arm.

"No," she angrily jerked her arm out of Lauren's reach. "I don't accept this. This is bullshit! You're just afraid! You love me. You love me so much it scares the hell out of you!"

"Yes! Gods, yes. I'm not denying that, Bo. I'm just seeing the bigger picture and the reality of anyone else getting to touch you besides me kills me!" Lauren shouted, shocked at her own confession. She paused once more to try to get her chin from trembling, doing her best to rein herself in and to try to calm Bo down as well. She started again, her delivery much calmer this time. "You're dealing with so much right now and it's hard to make sense of everything that's happening. Just.. Please. I have limits. But I know that even with those limitations, I can help stop what's happening to you. Please let that be enough." Lauren closed her eyes momentarily in the hopes of keeping the tears she could feel accumulating in her eyes from escaping. She was almost successful.

"Your text indicated there was an urgent matter to attend to," Trick announced from the living room, his arrival completely unnoticed in the face of the explosive drama before him. "But it looks like I could have taken a few extra minutes to get here."

Bo tore her eyes away from Lauren only long enough to glance at Trick before they were drawn like a magnet back to the tragically beautiful doctor before her. She watched as Lauren retreated behind her mask of professionalism. "Thank you for coming. Your timing couldn't be better, Trick," she managed to utter as Bo witnessed her walls sliding back up again and she mentally and physically distanced herself from Bo. "There's not a moment to waste."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lauren trudged up the stairs towards Bo's room feeling worn and weary and not even a tiny bit hopeful. The last eight days were spent in a lab where she worked herself past the point of exhaustion but never once considered herself beat or ready to give up. She knocked softly before opening the door to find Kenzi resting against the headboard with a thick glamour magazine in her hands and a sleeping succubus beside her. It was a scene she was all too familiar with recently. "How long has she been out," she whispered as she drew closer to Bo to press her fingertips to the inside of her wrist, slowly counting and frowning at the result she was getting. Her frown deepened when she saw the way strands of hair limply clung to the sides of Bo's face, her once healthy glow now looking pale and ashen. She didn't need to feel her forehead to know that she was running a fever again but she did anyway.

"A few hours," Kenzi answered, putting the magazine down on her lap when she noticed the fairly large syringe in Lauren's other hand. "Something new?" she observed, seeing that the coloring was different from what Lauren usually injected her friend with twice a day.

"We exhausted the supply of cambylictus that we were able to get our hands on. I'm trying a blend with more corly root and added some athelas that Trick suggested," Lauren rattled off as she pushed the needle under Bo's skin and pushed the plunger slowly and smoothly.

"No idea what you just said, but I hope it works," Kenzi waited for Lauren to raise her head again, her piercing blue eyes locking on to hazel ones. Kenzi's usual false bravado was nowhere to be found in that moment. "Tell me our Bo is not going to die."

Lauren felt her confidence waver with the direct question and she knew that Kenzi had witnessed it by the way her face fell. They stared at each other for long moments, each of them unable to express how much the woman lying between them meant to them and what utter devastation her loss would bring. "How long?" Kenzi bit down on her lip to keep it from trembling.

Lauren swallowed thickly. "Not long," she admitted, unable to keep herself from touching Bo. She smoothed the hair away from Bo's face, her fingers lingering on the skin there.

Bo's condition had declined shockingly quickly. Almost overnight she went from a fearsome vixen, capable of handling herself both physically and verbally to needing help to sit up in bed and unconscious for hours at a time while cold sweats and fevers devoured her body and mind. During her waking hours, Lauren dropped everything she was doing and rushed to be with her. Those moments with Bo marked the only time she was away from the lab. She caught fifteen to twenty minutes of sleep while waiting for test results a couple of times a day, but she kept going.

"She saved Nadia," Kenzi confessed out of the blue. "Did she tell you that? It wasn't Lachlin. It was Bo. She did it for you."

While the admission startled Lauren, it was more the timing and less the subject matter. "I think I always knew that in my heart," Lauren revealed. "She certainly lives by the motto of 'Go big, or go home'," she smiled sadly.

Kenzi noticed and appreciated that they hadn't given up on Bo just yet. They hadn't started to mourn her or speak of her in past tense. It soothed her somehow.

Lauren felt a strange sensation come over her and she quickly recognized it as hope. "Kenzi! Nadia!" she said excitedly, clutching Bo's hand and smiling for the first time in days. "Nadia, Kenzi!"

"ooookay. I'm going to need more words here, doc," Kenzi complained before apparently having the same idea and jumping off the bed and rushing to meet Lauren. "Will it work?" she questioned excitedly.

"I think so," Lauren nodded, finding herself caught up in Kenzi's enthusiasm as the gripped each other's arms and danced around before hugging tightly. Without letting go of Kenzi, she reached for her phone, dialing a familiar number. "Trick? How quickly can you be here? I can save Bo, but I need your help."


End file.
